Bearshorty's musings

Bear proposed today!

We were on the hike on the Waking Dunes and it was a very bright, sunny but really windy day and the sand on top of the Dunes was a little too active. But that spot with the view of a the valley leading to the ocean on one side and high hill of the floating sand island overlooking tops of trees on the other is a very beautiful and original view. That hiking trail is one of my favorites. So Bear decided to give me the ring there. Because of the wind I almost didn’t hear him ask me the question! The ring itself is beautiful and perfect for me because it is not tiny but not huge either. Just the right size diamond. And the sides of it (the ring is white gold) are decorated in art deco style.

I kind of knew it was coming over this holiday season and I hoped for the Montauk proposal. I really didn’t want a public Christmas one. I did think he might put the ring under the New Year tree. I thought he might do it yesterday with the lighthouse, but this spot today was perfect and it did catch me slightly by surprise until the couple of minutes before.

I’ve been thinking since how strange it is that having a formal proposal and a ring changes my emotional state even though it really shouldn’t and I’ve been trying to figure out why. I mean, we’ve been together thirteen years and we talked about marriage for a long time and it has been a committed relationship already and all that a lot, and one would think the ring really wouldn’t matter, but it kind of does. Yes, it is just symbolic but it does represent a nice symbol. Maybe tit is about social conventions and how others respond to a relationship where it is taken seriously with the social conventions of engagement or marriage. It in the time Bear and I have been together many people I know met, got married and got divorced and their relationship is treated as more ‘committed’ or ‘significant.’ Perhaps, having a ring just feels like a step forward. And yet, it is not like anything really changed in terms of job prospects and being realistic about it all. We are still the same.

In addition to the hiking in the morning, for we also went to the wood until lunch time, I also went on a step machine to work out. My legs are going to kill me.

I finally signed up for Archive of Our Own, no more anonymous kudos. But it was time and in the new year I will post all my stories there too.

And I finally finished “Slynx” today after taking a break for “Good Omens.” All I could say about the ending is WTF was that. I loved the first 25% of this book – it does built an interesting post-apocalyptic world but then the plot drags and the main character is a bit unlikable and by the end the plot just got really weird like the author was on drugs.