Bearshorty's musings

1. Do you mostly prepare your meals at home or do you eat out more?

I almost always eat home food. Eating out is a rare treat. Lately, on Fridays I would buy lunch and that would be one time I would eat out. Other days I bring my lunch with me. We do dinner take out usually only when we are out with friends, but because of small kids that doesn't happen a lot lately.

2. Is there a time of day when you are more likely to buy food already prepared?

Lunch on Fridays. I'm lucky to work in an area with a lot of restaurants and variety of foods. There is Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Indian, Argentinian empanadas, Subway, an American diner, Irish pubs, a cookie store etc just steps from my work. So each Friday I get to pick something else.

3. What is your average weekly grocery bill (for how many people)? What is your total restaurant/fast food bill for an average week?

For two adults and two little kids and my Mom who watches the girls (but Bear is also away for half a week, eating either at free work buffets or at his parents): so we spend $50-60 on essentials, my parents bring over maybe $50 of Trader Joe organic vegetables and fruit and meat for the girls, and once a month or two we spend some money in Costco on meat.

For restaurant /fast food, I spend about $10 a week for my Friday lunch. Ocassuonally I will buy a snack of candy or something.

4. What is your favorite meal to prepare at home?

Too many to name. Meatloaf is always good. Ethiopian cabbage dish. Mostly though we stick to basics with pasta or rice or potatoes or buckwheat with lots veggies and some chicken or meat.

5. What is your favorite meal to order in a restaurant?

Can't pick one. I like to vary restaurants and dishes. I do like Thai, Indian and Chinese the most. And Japanese too. Basicall something I can't make at home. U don't like Mexican.

It has been 24 years today since we immigrated to the US from Belarus. We traveled in just one day - a very, very long day with the time change and getting up at 2am - but still it was better that 6 months some people had to do just a few years before. My parents, three of my grandparents and I took a four hour plane to Shannon, Ireland (my first plane ride ever), then spent four hours at the airport and then took a 6 hour plane to New York, where after going through an interview by immigration officials we got to meet my uncle at the gate who drove us to our new apartment in Brooklyn. Two of my grandparents (his parents) were in a different apartment. In honor of the day, my Dad and I would always get a little cake or something to celebrate, so today my parents, who came over so Bear and my Dad could drive to pick up our new air conditioner, got a cake too and some other tasty treats.

It is so nice outside - not super warm but getting warmer with clear light blue skies. I spent the morning at the playground with Tanya, first my myself and then Bear came and then my parents too. Just a nice relaxing day before I get the last batch of papers tomorrow and get ready to finish teaching.

I want to catch up a little bit on the last few weeks so I though I'll write about our holidays first. We celebrate both Passover and Easter so we had a full schedule last weekend.

( First Seder )

Our big celebration has been the friend one that I've been organizing for at least the last twelve years on the Saturday of the Passover week. This year it was just Marianna and her family and us and we went to Queens to Marianna's place since she has a big table and we usually gather there. It was Janna's birthday so she had plans and Yeva didn't really want to come since she didn't want to cook or hang out with so many kids (Galya is 5, Tanya and Ida are 2.5 and Mozen is 6 months). So I just split the shopping list between us and Bear got pretty much everything the night before.

My Dad was supposed to get kosher for Passover desert at Costco that week (I don't eat anything with flour or rice or oatmeal or corn on Passover) but it was all cleared out already, so I asked Bear to get me bittersweet chocolate chips and on Saturday morning I made flourless chocolate cake. I had some Dutch cocoa powder from Aruba from which I usually make hot chocolate, so I used that, and it gave it a good flavor. It was my first time making it but it came out alright and everything seemed to like it at the party. All the kids, except the baby, had some and liked it so that's a good sign. (I've been watching "The Great British Bake Off on Netflix lately, so baking feels a bit strange, if that is the right word.)

On Saturday, I had to go to the doctor's appointment at 11:30. My parents were supposed to come over to watch Tanya while Bear and I went, but my Mom couldn't, only my Dad drove over to take me which Bear fed Tanya and got her ready. Everything went well, I got a cute sonogram photos to show everyone, came home, ate lunch, got everyone packed (we were going straight to Bear's parents after so I needed to pack overnight stuff) and off we went.

( Passover at Marianna's )

( Easter )

The restaurant (Passage) ended up being ok; there was certainly fun despite the residual reluctance about the whole thing. Russian restaurants, in the US at least, are a particular experience. It is a fancy place (on weekends about $90 per person, and people dress up), with a ridiculous amount of food served as a buffet at your table. The food keeps coming for over four hours. Just as you thought the appetizers (salads, cold cuts, liver pate wrapped in a pancake, smoked salmon etc), and potatoes with mushrooms, and potatoes with a piece of fancy beef, and pasta with shrimp etc was enough, out comes salmon and trout with rice. And then desert and fruit with tea or coffee at some point. The restaurant provides some alcohol but you mostly bring your own and usually there is a lot. (The food was the reason Bear was happy to have our wedding at a Russian restaurant. He is American but he's been to a few with me to appreciate the food. And more food. After our wedding, we had food for five more days and we gave some to my parents and my uncle. They wrap all the leftovers.). The restaurant is also pretty much a nightclub. There is live music for over three hours and a dance floor in the middle of all the tables. There are usually many different parties celebrating birthdays and other occasions.

Yeva's invitation said 7pm, so I come at about 7:10, of course. I knew enough to take my Kindle with me, which was a smart choice as the rest of the party only showed up at 7:45. Which is pretty typical. It was not a big party - there were eight of us - Yeva, her Mom and brother, her cousin from Vancouver, Kira and her husband Sasha, me, and Dasha (who came a bit later after work). It was very nice to meet Yeva's cousin, she's a lot of fun. She did have to leave early to catch a late plane back to Canada. We talked, ate a lot, danced a lot too. My Dad texted me that Tanya went to sleep ok, so I wasn't that worried. And Bear was happy at home playing with his Oculus Rift and doing his Gear VR animation. So it was a good evening. But I just couldn't enjoy it fully because of all the drama leading to the party, and I'm not really a big party person - I'm happy at home with my book. But overall I'm on the positive side about it. The food was very good and so were the singers. I ate so much that I was eating very little today (although I couldn't resist my mother-in-law's apple pie). The desert at the party only came around 12:20am, right in time for me, as I texted Bear at 12 to come get me. Yeva wanted me to stay until 1 but as I knew my parents would bring Tanya over at 8am, I really just wanted to go to sleep. She and I really live in different worlds right now - she has trouble understanding sometimes how tired kids make you and how your life is not your own. I get it but I wish it didn't feel like we are disconnecting.

Today was a quiet day. Bear and I had a nice morning to ourselves and then Tanya came home. She immediately just wanted to play with Papa. My Mom made her cutlets and I stayed home until they were done while Bear and Tanya went to the playground. Then I went to join them, after a stop at the bank (we live near a Jewish neighborhood, so the bank is open on Sunday instead of Saturday. It's very convenient), just in time to go home for lunch. Only then Tanya wanted Mama and wanted me to carry her and gave me hugs and kisses. But mostly weekends is Papa time and Mama can "go away". Unless it's nap time, or food time.

In the afternoon we walked to Rite Aid so that Bear and I could get flu shots. I got one but the pharmacist suggested that Bear wait a week since he just finished taking prednizone. (Bear got poison oak on his face after jogging a few weeks ago; it wasn't fun). Then we came home and I started cooking. I was on my feet from 5pm to 8pm with the break for dinner, cooking and washing all the dishes. I made simple things like rice and steamed broccoli, and I fried some chicken. I also had to make Tanya's soup tonight since I'm going to work tomorrow.

And now, I need to go work on my story while ignoring the stiffness in my left arm from the flu shot. It's my normal side effect and it should pass tomorrow.

We are back home after spending New Years at my parents. We are all unpacked and Tanya is finally sleeping (I think she's getting like five teeth at once, poor baby) and I'm sitting here, listening to all my new music, and writing out the new book list for the year. I always like the hope of the new year, so much potential for good things.

( December 31: holiday celebrations and feast )

( January 1: presents, Inside Out, book list )

We just got back from visiting Marianna and her family today. Marianna's birthday was on October 7th and we all finally got our schedule aligned. We didn't do anything complicated. Bear, Tanya and I drove to Queens to Marianna's place and Yeva came too a bit later. We told her 1pm, so she showed up by 3:30pm. Real time was about 2pm. We played a little inside with Galya, who is 4, and Idalia, who is 15 months - two days younger than Tanya. And then around 4pm we walked to this Himalayan/Nepalese restaurant, which was a lot like Asian fusion.

The food was good and there weren't a lot of people there so we didn't have to worry about toddler/little kids disrupting other diners. And all the kids were pretty well behaved. Tanya actually was willing to eat and had lots of rice, some tofu from miso soup, and a steamed chicken dumpling. She's been really picky lately about eating - it's a struggle to get her to eat sometimes, so it was nice for her to participate. And I got some time to eat too. We had some chicken and beef dumplings for the table, and bok choi, and I got miso soup, their special bread and crispy noodles with chicken. The noodles were ok, but their dumplings were very delicious.

Last week was stressful. We were thinking lately of buying an apartment instead of renting, with some help from my parents. Last Saturday (on Halloween) one realtor called to show us a two bedroom in his co-op. The size was OK and the kitchen was a good size, but the place would have needed so much renovation. Practically everything. We thought back and forth all week, weighting pros and cons and ultimately decided against it since the flip tax (what you pay into the co-op if you sell) was too big and there is no sublet there either - so if something happened it would not be easy to sell. In the last three years, real estate prices went up - but we will just have to keep looking. One good thing from all the stress of thinking about everything, I called my landlord office to find out if we could break our lease if we had too and they are pretty easy going about it. So, a lot of being an adult this week.

On Halloween, we also dressed up at home - Tanya was the cutest cat, I was a witch (my usual get-up) and Bear was Freddy Kruger. We also played some Halloween music on the radio which Tanya was grooving to. She is too young to trick and treat yet, but I'm looking forward to that in a few years. (I don't share pics on social media but I have no problem emailing them to people on my friends list - so if anyone wants pics, just ask)

I caught up on Grimm S5E2 yesterday and this morning. ( Grimm S5E2 )

Last few days were a bit unusual since it is holiday week. Tuesday was my Mom's birthday and she and my Dad spent the day at my place. My mother never wants any presents, so on Monday I figured I would at least bake something. I settled on banana cake. It was pretty easy to make with an electric mixer. I made vanilla buttercream frosting to go with it. My Mom actually liked it a lot, which is great since she rarely likes anything anyone cooks. And there was so much of it -I made it in 13 x 9 pan - that she wanted me to take with us for Christmas too.

On Tuesday my Mom also made olivie salad so that we could take it with us to Bear's parents' house. We left yesterday, in pouring rain and we are here untIL Saturday. We really didn't mind traffic since it meant Tanya got a long nap. Yesterday we just had a nice, quite Christmas eve here, and Tanya managed to sleep quite well. Today was a nice Christmas too.

Bear and I made Christmas breakfast of pancakes, scambled eggs, sausages and bacon as usual. This year was minimalist presents. We made a calendar for Bear's Mom and I had a small present for Bear (wrestling DVDs). Since Christmas is Bear's holiday, he got Tanya blocks (my holiday with presents is New Year), and he got me Twister and a Ravenclaw beany hat.

Bear's Mom got me Mark Ormrod's biography of Edward III, which is 600 pages and very fat. She also got me a cute book to read to Tanya. I can't wait to read the history book since 14th cent England is my turf. Tanya got the most presents from her grandparents of baby remote and baby keys, Dr Seuss books, and a few more toys we will save and give her in a month or two. She is getting more presents next week for New Year from my parents and me, so that is probaby too much.

I took her for a walk for her nap while Bear and his parents went to church. It was sunny and clear but very windy and she only does 30 min in the flimsy car seat stroller. At home she has a leasurly pram. So we napped more when we got back. And in the evening we went to Bear's brother's house for Christmas dinner. Car naps are great too. We left a little early because of Tanya's bedtime and she got more presents of a little bear and lots of diapers. Diapers are like the best present! Tanya also saw chickens for the first time, since John and Laurie keep chickens in their back yard. Overall a nice holiday.

Tomorow Bear and I are going to a wedding an hour away while his parents babysit. I'm leaving two bottles of milk, putting on a fancy dress and hoping for the best. A nice grown up outing is good but I'm prepared to come back early. We'll see.

I finished rereading Harry Potter this morning which brings the total number of books this year to 31.

Over the last month I've been enjoying RS Small Gifts fest, for which I wrote a story and got an art gift, and I've enjoyed Highlander fest too. One thing I noticed, though. Practicaly every story used the word 'div'. As in 'He divd that Remus liked him' etc. I never seen this usage before and it seems to have exploded. Even dictionaries don't seem to have it. Is this a British thing? Weird.

I had my monthly OBGYN appointment today. Everything looks good. We listened to baby bear's heartbeat and had an ultrasound where everything was in normal range. Plus, I got a picture with a profile and a hand waving. And I had to do more routine blood tests. But the best part was the ultrasound technician telling us that she thinks it is a girl! Yay! She can't give 100% guarantee and there will be further confirmation at the 20 week anatomy scan (21 week, really for me in four weeks), but she checked twice and she is pretty sure.

When she said that it was most likely a girl I was just so happy, I got very emotional (I'm blaming that on hormones, they definitely making me all happy about anything baby lately). I really don't care about the gender - either way is good, but I did always wanted to have a little girl so I could name her after my grandmother.

And Bear is happy about it too since he wanted a girl - he relates better to girls. Bear is pretty scared of the whole baby thing - it is mostly all the changes and his own situation in life and wanting to be more successful. He agreed on a baby because I decided it was time and he always knew how important having kids was to me. We talked about it long before we got married. He would have been just a good not to have kids at all but he also was coming more and more around to the idea the older he got. (He did think it would take a bit longer to happen but it only took a few months). He doesn't deal with change well in general. I know he'll be a great Dad but I do think that it will be easier for him to have a girl.

And if baby bear does turn out to be a boy, that will be good too and we'll adjust. But at least for this month I'm reveling it "it's a girl."

Papa is very excited about it too - he was already looking at all the girl dresses in stores even before today. He didn't care about the gender either but he knows how to deal with girls obviously more. My parents were in New Jersey today, scooping out some more stores like IKEA for baby furniture prices (they are very invested) and Mama picked up new bras for me at Walmart too. I definitely need some, I went up like two sizes already, which is wow. I never had big boobs and now I get to see what that's like. They stopped by for a little bit on the way to visit my grandparents since they wanted to see the sonogram pictures.

The weather today was warm (50F) and super nice, so Bear and I went for a walk after the doctor's appointment. And then I graded some papers.

For dinner I made kotlety - it's like Russian mini-burgers/mini-meatloaf cross - from ground turkey, bread crumbs, onions and various spices. Fry it for 25-30 minutes, flipping every 4 minutes or so. And I made venegret since I had some more beets. Venegret is a beet salad made from mixture of chopped cooked beets, potatoes, carrots, and with a can of sweet peas, a few pickles, chopped onions and sauerkraut and a bit of olive oil. Mixed it all and it is super delicious. So very Russian dinner while watching some bobsledding.

Saturday was a far busier day by far. Today was mostly relaxing day. The weather yesterday turned cold and rainy, very non-May like. And this morning was very cold. Going outside for a walk today was warmer than in the apartment. Tomorrow, however, looks very promising and we will take advantage of that.

On Saturday, there were already plans for a museum day and the weather just made that plan work even better. Medusa and I went to museums - first The Museum of Moving Image in Queens and then the Metropolitan Museum of Art (or the Met) in Manhattan. Both were lots of fun.

I've never been to the Museum of Moving Image before and I probably would not have gone but Medusa heard about the Exhibit on the Music Video and its history and so we went. And it was a great installation. I didn't realize just how far back the music videos go - to the beginning of the 20th century. And we could also watch clips of original MTV broadcast and other forms of evolution in video including fan vidding (They had three of those - Closer on (Star Trek Kirk/Spock one), and Vogue (300 one) and another). And there were videos running on a giant screen and just a lot of information. There were two floors of that and it was entertaining and educational. The permanent installation called "Behind the Scenes" was a lot of fun too - it went into different departments of movie making - from costumes and masks, directors and props and building models. I loved seeing different masks. And there were some interactive exhibits. I even made two little stop motion animations. I actually wish we had more time there but after almost three hours we were really hungry. But I highly recommend this place.

We walked for a bit to an Indian buffet place we found on Yelp the night before. And we piled on the food. The food was good. I didn't even eat dinner that night - I ate so much.

Then we took the subway to the Met and spent a couple of hours there. The Met was super crowded. Mostly because of the weather and the rain. It is my favorite museum in the world - and I've been to many. I love that I can just pay a dollar and go in and their special exhibitions are always worth it. The two we went too were super crowded which cut down the enjoyment a little but it was still fascinating. The first special exhibition was "Punk: Chaos to Couture." While it was all loud music and a bit of punk history (bathroom at CBGBs and the London store) it was mostly punk by major designers like Dolce Gabbana etc. So it was just really weird juxtaposition because Punk is not meant to be designer and it didn't leave the best impression. The clothes were certainly interesting and I liked the boots on one design a lot but I wasn't sure of the message of it all. And it was so crowded.

The second special exhibition called "Impressionism, Fashion and Modernity" was a bit less crowded but much more interesting. It is closing tomorrow and I might get a chance to see it again but I'm just glad I actually didn't miss it. It was a very interesting and fresh take to present Impressionism. It focused on portraits the artists drew, in particular on the dress within the portrait, mostly of the women. And in each gallery, on the floor, were the period dresses, usually 2-3 per room. Often the dresses matched the dresses in the paintings and sometime it was the exact dress worn in the painting. And that juxtaposition was just remarkable. There was one black dress that was particularly gorgeous. A wonderful exhibit and the curator of that deserves many accolades. Just to put that together. And it made me pay attention to fashion. (Also, some patrons had a hard time processing that some children in dresses with long hair in the 19th century paintings were boys - that was amusing to watch)

After those, we walked around the American wing for a bit before we needed to head home. I need to not forget to come back sometime in July, because the Met is going to have The Cyrus Cylinder, an ancient Persian artifact, famous for, among other things, allowing Jews back to Judea after Babylonian Exile. I've been teaching about it for a few years now and I would love to see it in reality.

We both ate so much at the Indian that we really didn't want dinner, once we got home. Bear was home already and he got us movie tickets on the way back from work. Medusa wanted to see "Iron Man 3" and I knew Bear wanted to see it too. I was sort of neutral on it. But it occurred to me that I could just go see "Fast and Furious 6" at the same time and that made it perfect. Of course, going to our movie theater on a Saturday night was a bit ridiculous, and I don't think I want to attempt it again. It was so crowded. Extremely so. Parking was an adventure - we sort of squeaked by. And we had to get through a tight crowd just to get in the movie theater even with tickets at hand (thank goodness we had the tickets beforehand). There were many for later shows who weren't let in yet. And my theater was already packed more than 25 minutes early. Good thing I just had to find a seat for me - and I did get a good one. But it was so full. And so many parents brought their kids - I was sitting next to four year old. It is not really a children's movie but I guess many parents didn't want to find babysitters.

"Fast and Furious 6" was exactly the movie I expected it to be: silly summer fun with ridiculous and not even remotely realistic stunts, with lots of eye candy muscles (I do love those arms) and fun with my slashy goggles. It was definitely fun to watch it in a crowd. It was not claiming to be anything else and I enjoyed it despite times where I went "I'm really sitting here and just watching people drive." ( spoilery talk )

Compared to yesterday, today was pretty mild - just going to the store and later for a nice walk with Bear. It is nice to relax a little.

Bear was at work today because of this week’s crazy schedule but my parents came to visit since they were visiting my grandparents anyway. And they went to Costco in the morning, so I got some food too, but mainly they bought steaks for us to eat. My Mom was cooking in my kitchen.

And I finally learned how to use the tea maker for brewing tea that Marianna gave me for the bridal shower. It is really easy too. And they dragged me out for a walk for about an hour. We went back to our old street where we used to live when we came to America – it is not that far from where I live now.

So when my Mom came over, I didn’t have bread so I went to the store nearby to get some while she started cooking. And on the way back there were a couple of people in the elevator with me going to my floor. I turn left from the elevator, they turn right. And then they open their door and their two little dogs rush out and start to run, barking, straight at me as I’m walking towards my apartment. (Technically, you are not supposed to have dogs in our building but that is another story). Now, I have a phobia of dogs. It doesn’t matter that the dogs are small and probably friendly. If a dog is not on the leash and especially if there are dogs rushing at me, I will freak out. That’s how I managed to break my leg at the age of nine. I basically high tailed it to my apartment, which was, thankfully, unlocked, so I could just make it in before they reached me. If you are going to have illegal dogs, is it too hard to ask not to let them out running. My heart really doesn’t need to get into panic attack mode.

About a month or so ago, I signed up at this tutoring website as a tutor since I wanted to make a little extra money on the side and it seemed one way to find clients. And this one woman contacted me because she wanted to practice speaking English. So today we were finally set to meet in person.

I was a little apprehensive about going to a stranger’s house, a person I’ve never met in person, just talked to through email and text message. I kept joking to Bear about it. But the tutoring company had good reviews – real people use it – and the emails sounded genuine enough. And the address was in a nice neighborhood according to Google. So I wasn’t really that nervous about it. Still, going to a stranger’s house. I did text Bear once I got there, though, as we agreed.

The girl, Valerie, was very nice. She came to America on a trip from Russia and met her husband here on like day 6 and stayed. She’s been in the US for about 2.5 years but is mainly interacting with the Russian community and so she feels a little isolated from everything and she wants to improve her English. Today we just chatted for two hours on the couch of her basement workout/lounge area. We talked on all kinds of topics – food, travel family history. For next Thursday, I think I will email her an article to read that I assign my college writing students so she could get her confidence up that she can handle that type of English too. We’ll see how that goes, but that was certainly a good first tutoring experience.

After that, I came home – it is very easy to get to her house and back, just one bus – I went to the back and actually deposited all our wedding money. It is good not to have checks just sitting in the house. And I went to buy two sympathy cards as two members of Bear’s extended family died a few days ago – separate death. We are going to go to a wake for one of them tomorrow.

Tonight I also cooked dinner of stir-fry vegetable with Thai Red Curry Sauce, rice and hot-dogs. Today is actually our dating anniversary – 14 years. Not that we really celebrated but I wanted to do something nice. Overall, an interesting day.