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bearshortyI love my father. I really do. He is probably one of my favorite people in the world. We have similar tastes in TV and books. I have a lot of his personality. But over the last six years he’s been getting more and more Republican – he watches Fox news, and listens to AM radio. Which has always been the source of friendly arguments where we just get frustrated but, of course, don’t expect to change each other’s minds. He sends me articles that show global warming isn’t real, I send him the ones that show how the Earth is changing. But today in the car on the way home from work, we had a more than a thirty minute yelling debate on whether the government could mandate the health insurance companies to subsidize contraception. He sees the issue as the government imposing where it shouldn’t and why should he have to pay for people’s “personal choice” and if I argue that contraception benefits society on multiple levels, he brings up sterilization in the 1930s and eugenics that was thought to be good too (that is such a specious argument too which he probably heard on some conservative talk show.)
I see the issue as a women’s rights issue and that the extra $360 a year are especially useful to women who can’t afford much and should not have more kids if they don’t want to. Since he is coming from a middle class white male perspective, $360 is such easy no big deal money that he can’t even grasp why contraception and access to it is so crucial. According to him: Oh, women can get contraception anywhere, like in Walmart for $5 (as some caller to conservative radio said), or get an app on their iPhone that tell them where free condoms are. When I pointed out that not everyone has internet or iPhone or time from working multiple jobs to visit such places, he doesn’t really get that. And we are not even getting into the argument of religious institutions and health coverage. And he thinks we should pick and choose which things our health insurance should cover and opt out of what does not apply to us. Seriously! (One of his conservative stations was in the background where one presenter wanted to "ask femminazis" why he, personally, should pay for contraceptives, like men are not affected by this at all! I think I yelled at the radio at that point). I got so frustrated that I am physically upset from this debate, about an hour later, I feel on the verge of tears at this and I’m not that emotional a person – I never get so worked up and I’ve disagree with him on so much in the past.
I need some internet ideas – good articles that show why contraception and providing it should very much concern his privileged self,why family planning matters, the cost of contraception and its effects (I found one about college students and those extra $360 but he thought that was not that much money – headdesk). I sent him this one so far.
I see the issue as a women’s rights issue and that the extra $360 a year are especially useful to women who can’t afford much and should not have more kids if they don’t want to. Since he is coming from a middle class white male perspective, $360 is such easy no big deal money that he can’t even grasp why contraception and access to it is so crucial. According to him: Oh, women can get contraception anywhere, like in Walmart for $5 (as some caller to conservative radio said), or get an app on their iPhone that tell them where free condoms are. When I pointed out that not everyone has internet or iPhone or time from working multiple jobs to visit such places, he doesn’t really get that. And we are not even getting into the argument of religious institutions and health coverage. And he thinks we should pick and choose which things our health insurance should cover and opt out of what does not apply to us. Seriously! (One of his conservative stations was in the background where one presenter wanted to "ask femminazis" why he, personally, should pay for contraceptives, like men are not affected by this at all! I think I yelled at the radio at that point). I got so frustrated that I am physically upset from this debate, about an hour later, I feel on the verge of tears at this and I’m not that emotional a person – I never get so worked up and I’ve disagree with him on so much in the past.
I need some internet ideas – good articles that show why contraception and providing it should very much concern his privileged self,why family planning matters, the cost of contraception and its effects (I found one about college students and those extra $360 but he thought that was not that much money – headdesk). I sent him this one so far.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-02 03:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-02 03:31 pm (UTC)My Dad doesn't like to see me upset so he did keep checking up on me last night when he saw I was upset, not that he would change his mind on the issue. But he is a sweetheart and the best Dad ever so I just really have to stop talking politics with him. Political arguments is pretty much all we argue about when we do.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-02 04:49 pm (UTC)Don’t know if this article is a good one or not, but thought I’d share it: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/2907603.html
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-02 06:48 pm (UTC)Fighting with family is always different because you know fundamentally they will still love you. I just, myself, wanted to acknowledge that our disagreement was just political, and I felt bad because he felt bad that I was upset (If this makes sense at all).
Thank you for the link! I will definitely check it out. I think I want to make a list at some point on useful articles to help in constructing coherent arguments.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-02 05:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-04 07:46 am (UTC)I think I know what you'd like to find - an article that says "unwanted pregnancies cost society x amount of dollars", which seems like it HAS to exist, but my Google-Fu isn't up to that this early while I'm also feeding my toddler breakfast. :) (I just gave him a yogurt and a spoon so I could write this comment. I'm going to pay for that decision in clean up time. :))
Anyway, I did find this on the HuffPo, which has some interesting stats on the reality of women struggling to pay for birth control - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nita-chaudhary/kathleen-sebelius-plan-b_b_1241653.html
I love that you and your dad can have these kinds of conversations. He sounds like a great guy. Makes me miss my own dad (who although a liberal Democrat is also VERY Catholic and very upset about the whole birth control thing).
Speaking of Catholics and birth control, you might find it interesting to read the history of birth control in Ireland - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraception_in_the_Republic_of_Ireland. Quite big changes, in less than 40 years, to go from being illegal to having Plan B available without a prescription in Boots. Also, if a woman is sufficiently poor or has costly preexisting conditions, all of her medical care, including contraception, would be covered under the 'medical card', which is essentially entirely government-funded.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-04 03:42 pm (UTC)The argument about minimal wage is certainly a good one. I think if I talk in those terms he might be able to see. I didn't even think of articulating it that way to make him see why extra $360 or so actually makes a big difference.
Thanks for the links too, I'll definitely will check them out.
My Dad is really wonderful and I do like talking and arguing politics with him usually - this topic just affected me more than usual.
I hope your little one didn't make much of a mess!