Air travel meme
Jul. 11th, 2019 03:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bearshortyAirplane travel meme that has been going around, taken from several people. Since i was just coming off a flight on Tuesday, it seems appropriate to do.
1. Trying to eschew lines by checking in at the premier desk, pretending not to know it’s the premier desk.
There is self-check in now so there weren't lines last time we went to check in. And curb check-in too. I don't remember last time I checked in through the real line inside, but usually I follow the rules.
2. Trying your luck with the old, “Any chance I can have a free upgrade?” routine.
Never. My seat is my seat. I have never traveled in anything but economy.
3. Booking a lap infant and then trying to finagle an actual seat at check-in.
I only flew once with a lap infant - when Tanya was 22 months (well, twice - there and back). I fully expected her to sit on me. Once we were in the air, the flight attendant on the first flight let us know there was an empty row so we could use that to sit with her. That was pretty nice. But I never presumed.
4. Completely repacking your bag while checking in because it was too heavy.
I believe I only had to do this once - move some stuff from my bag to my parents. Usually it is not an issue as my bag rarely comes close to the limit.
SECURITY/PRE-FLIGHT
5. Walking to TSA PreCheck / Global Entry with your head up like a royal.
I believe I qualified for PreCheck only once and that was pretty nice.
6. Running late for your flight and then pushing your way to the front of security with a sad, sad story.
I don't like being late for anything so I'm usually too early. There was one instance where we were in Minsk and drove to the airport to go home to New York only to find out that the flight had been cancelled and merged with an earlier flight that was basically about to leave. We were not informed. There was no internet flight tracking at the time. So we had to bribe the gate agents and security to hold the flight while they checked us in and did security and then they drove us to the field to go up the stairs to the airplane. We had a connection in Warsaw so it was nice not to actually miss it.
7. Rolling your eyes at people in the security line who forget to take their shoes off, and then realizing you forgot to take your belt off, duh.
Not really. I generally try to dress pretty light, without belts.
8. Completely redressing yourself at the TSA conveyor belt.
No. I pick my travel clothes for maximum comfort and it is meant to last the whole time.
9. Trying to sneak an enormous suitcase on as a carry on.
I never seen anyone do that. It is pretty pointless.
10. Spending too much time in the airport bar and almost missing your flight, even though you arrived two hours early.
I don't go to bars and I never drink at an airport so that is not a scenario that can happen.
11. Charging your devices in the boarding area with a super-long cord and “clothes lining” other passengers in the process.
If I was charging something I would sit by the outlet. No long cords for me.
12. Taking up an entire row with your bags in a crowded gate area, and then burying your face in your phone with questionable intensity to ward off any potential space invaders.
Well we did take 4 chairs just this Tuesday but it was for 4 adults and 2 kids and someone always had to be by the bags. Can't bury my face in the phone though as I had to watch the kids.
BOARDING
13. Being a part of a “waiting halo” that gathers around the gate so earlier groups can’t line up—even though you know your group is the last one.
I find this silly. You can't board until your group is called anyway and standing is just pointless. I stay seated until the group is called. Plus this time I had to carry a heavy 2 year old so I was going to sit as much as possible.
14. Trying to sneak into an earlier boarding group.
There is really no point. All have to get on the plane and it will leave at the same time for everyone.
15. Rearranging other people’s luggage in the overhead to make room for your own.
I always travel with my big backpack as a carry on and stow it under my seat. It is very rare for me to actually used the overhead bin. I think I had to use it once or twice and usually I just found an empty space.
16. Putting your luggage into the overhead bin sideways like an amateur.
Ha! I flew on a newly rearranged American Airlines plane on June 29 (the same one that had no screens in the seat in front of you) and they specifically made an announcement that in this new plane arrangement you have to put your carry on sideways!
17. Attempting to get from the back of the plane to the front while people are still boarding because there’s no more overhead bin space in your area.
I never encountered that myself.
18. Watching every passenger board the plane and hoping that beautiful man/woman will set next to you so you can begin your epic romantic journey. WILL IT HAPPEN?
Not at all, since I didn't fly that much before I met Bear and before that I was too young. I do hope for someone pleasant though. And a good conversationalist perhaps. Or at least not an annoying person. I've been lucky with strangers sitting next to me so far.
19. Counting the minutes until the gates close while keeping an eye on that open row. Gotta call dibs before someone else does!
Seats are usually assigned and it is rare now to fly in a plane with a lot of seats open. Lately all planes seem full. Our flight back to New York this week had 35 people on stand by.
20. Pretending you’re in a music video or movie as you look out the airplane window with your headphones on.
I have never done that. I have pretended to be on a space shuttle in the future though as that calms any flying anxiety.
21. Using up precious overhead bin space for small items like a handbag, coat or fanny pack. Those can fit under your seat, pal!
I did put a coat up there when I flew in winter since I keep my backpack under the seat.
22. Booking Basic Economy with your sig-o to try to save a few bucks and then, once you board, pestering others to move so that you can sit together.
Before kids I didn't typically care if we sat together and this wasn't a problem until a few years ago anyway; it is only lately that the corporations decided to gouge through seat selection. We just always sat together. There was a time when I sat separately from my parents but again that was fine. Now I have to pay extra money for the seats since one of us has to sit near each child. I can't exactly inflict them on strangers.
23. Claiming an outlet as soon as you sit down.
There was an USB port in the entertainment screen in front of me so I could just charge my phone. Usually I don't even bother. My stuff is charged beforehand.
24. Groaning aloud when a baby’s seated near you, even if that baby hasn’t shown any sign of committing a crime-- yet.
I never have before I had kids since generally most babies behave and are cute and now I'm on the other side. I felt bad for the woman who sat next to me on the flight on Tuesday since Olivia was right next to me (we were sitting in 4 person row - woman, me, Olivia and my Mom. Across from my Mom in a 3 person row were my Dad, Bear and Tanya). I knew Olivia would not just be sitting still and sometimes would climb on me and I tried hard to make sure Olivia wouldn't be bothering her. The woman was pretty calm the whole flight though so it was just me being worried just in case.
25. Playing passive aggressive games with the middle seat arm rests.
I usually like them down.
26. Sneaking in a few extra minutes of phone time-- even though you’re already supposed to be in airplane mode.
Probably.
27. Sticking your feet in the aisle or worse, claiming the tiniest millimeter of the arm rest in front of you as a foot rest (their elbow can’t reach back that far, can it?!).
I prefer a window seat. Usually I have enough leg room.
28. Taking note of which TV shows/movies/books/magazines other people are watching/reading and promptly judging said choices.
I do take note of it but I don't judge. To each their own. Someone was watching "Aquaman" on this last flight and another was watching "Favourite" with Chinese subtitles.
29. Getting a thrill out of pushing the attendant button to ask for water…pillow…blanket….anything at all.
Not really. I feel I'm bothering them if I do ring the button but I do it in necessity. My Mom needed a bandage so I pressed the button to ask for one.
30. Take the obligatory photo of the airplane wing from the window seat, and then uploading it to Instagram with the caption: On my way to ______. hashtag blessed
I don't have Instagram and if I did I would never use this type of hashtag. I do take pictures out of the airplane occasionally but mostly I want to capture the ground.
31. Decision anxiety when you have to go to the bathroom and the beverage cart is inches away.
I would go to the bathroom and then just ask for the drink. No decision anxiety
32. Sitting in the middle seat anyway, even though either the window or aisle seat is empty. Who are these people?!
Weird people indeed. I prefer with the window or the aisle if I can get it. Preferably window.
33. Talking over the middle seat to your friend in the aisle seat because you just had to have the window seat.
I never had that situation. I would sit together if I could. Otherwise I usually watch a movie or read.
34. Waiting until the aisle person falls asleep to realize that you have to go to the bathroom.
Ha. I would try to hold it in that case.
35. Laughing way too loud with your headphones on at the corny in-flight movie.
I don't know if I do that. I did clap along with Queen song the other day. Hopefully not too loudly.
36. Reclining your seat suddenly, and hence bashing the knees of the person behind you.
I generally only recline my seat if the person in front of me reclines too much. Otherwise I don't recline. And never suddenly.
37. Enjoying a tall glass of white wine as you try to pretend your kid (who’s kicking the seat in front of him) isn’t with you.
I never have alcohol on the plane and part of being a parent is cutting that stuff off immediately. Olivia did try to kick the seat in front a bit and it is my job not to let her. The person in front didn't really notice or complain so success.
38. Slipping your shoes off inflight to give your sore feet a break-- those dogs are barking!
Only on the long flights. I kept the sock the Virgin Atlantic flight gave us and used those for a while.
39. Bringing smelly food. You want your tuna sandwich, and, too bad-- everybody’s just gotta deal with it!
Not really.
40. Having wild B.O. (aka not showering) before you get on a flight. (Hey, your alarm didn’t ring-- it was down to the wire!)
Never done that either.
41. Turning around and giving a look like, You best NOT be doing that again. Just because someone kicked your seat ONE TIME by accident. (Gotta nip it in the bud!)
It will take more than one kick.
42. Reclining your seat to its fullest but getting annoyed when the person in front of you does it.
I don't typically recline.
43. Feeling sheer panic when you’re not done eating your meal but the attendants are ALREADY collecting garbage. Do you keep eating and wait another million years before they come by again? Or do you scarf everything down like a mongrel?
I would just keep eating. They will come around again. I usually eat pretty fast though and it has never been a problem.
44. Seeing someone getting up to go to the bathroom, then deciding you have to go too, so you scramble out of your seat to get in front of them.
I would just wait by the bathroom.
45. Not flushing the toilet… Why would you touch ANYTHING in there?
Flushing is fun though in the airplane.
46. Getting annoyed that the bathroom faucet doesn’t stay on and that you have to continually press it with soapy hands.
Sometimes
47. Snoring on the person next to you.
I can't really sleep on the plane either when I'm flying overnight.
48. Making everyone get up repeatedly so you can step into the aisle and get something from your bag in the overhead compartment.
I don't keep my bag in the overhead compartment. I like my backpack in front of me.
LANDING
49. Clapping like a dork when the plane lands.
Absolutely.
50. Standing up and grabbing your overhead bags while the plane is still taxiing.
I wouldn't do that even if I had something up there. You are not going to make it out if the plane faster. Everyone in front would have to exit first.
51. Trying to dash to the front or trying to exit before the rows in front of you as soon as the plane lands, instead of filing out one row at a time.
One would still have to wait the same amount at the baggage claim so there is really no point. I wait for one row at a time polite exit.
ARRIVAL
52. Literally racing other people from your flight to get to customs and immigration before everyone else.
Not really.
,b>53. Jamming yourself into the airport tram just as the doors are closing, delaying everyone’s arrival to baggage claim.
I never had to go on the airport tram I don't think. I usually have to walk a long way to the baggage claim.
54. Jockeying for prime position in front of the luggage carousel, as if your life depended on it.
I find a less crowded spot usually.
55. Allowing your kid to utilize the baggage claim conveyor belts as a jungle gym because it’s better than listening to them whine some more.
I don't want them to die so no. I let Tanya sit on the edge on one but even then I was worried and told her to stand up even though the belt was empty and wasn't moving and she was sitting on the not movable part. And I definitely had to prevent Olivia climbing on it.
56. Reading all the chauffeurs’ arrival signs and making promising eye contact, even though nobody’s picking you up.
No.
57. Running (or pushing) past everyone when leaving baggage claim to get to the front of the taxi line.
Never. Why all this rushing?
58. Pretending that everyone else is the annoying traveler, not you, because you’re cool and nice and a seasoned traveler so why would anyone have any reason to believe otherwise?
I am a nice traveler but I do probably annoy some people.
1. Trying to eschew lines by checking in at the premier desk, pretending not to know it’s the premier desk.
There is self-check in now so there weren't lines last time we went to check in. And curb check-in too. I don't remember last time I checked in through the real line inside, but usually I follow the rules.
2. Trying your luck with the old, “Any chance I can have a free upgrade?” routine.
Never. My seat is my seat. I have never traveled in anything but economy.
3. Booking a lap infant and then trying to finagle an actual seat at check-in.
I only flew once with a lap infant - when Tanya was 22 months (well, twice - there and back). I fully expected her to sit on me. Once we were in the air, the flight attendant on the first flight let us know there was an empty row so we could use that to sit with her. That was pretty nice. But I never presumed.
4. Completely repacking your bag while checking in because it was too heavy.
I believe I only had to do this once - move some stuff from my bag to my parents. Usually it is not an issue as my bag rarely comes close to the limit.
SECURITY/PRE-FLIGHT
5. Walking to TSA PreCheck / Global Entry with your head up like a royal.
I believe I qualified for PreCheck only once and that was pretty nice.
6. Running late for your flight and then pushing your way to the front of security with a sad, sad story.
I don't like being late for anything so I'm usually too early. There was one instance where we were in Minsk and drove to the airport to go home to New York only to find out that the flight had been cancelled and merged with an earlier flight that was basically about to leave. We were not informed. There was no internet flight tracking at the time. So we had to bribe the gate agents and security to hold the flight while they checked us in and did security and then they drove us to the field to go up the stairs to the airplane. We had a connection in Warsaw so it was nice not to actually miss it.
7. Rolling your eyes at people in the security line who forget to take their shoes off, and then realizing you forgot to take your belt off, duh.
Not really. I generally try to dress pretty light, without belts.
8. Completely redressing yourself at the TSA conveyor belt.
No. I pick my travel clothes for maximum comfort and it is meant to last the whole time.
9. Trying to sneak an enormous suitcase on as a carry on.
I never seen anyone do that. It is pretty pointless.
10. Spending too much time in the airport bar and almost missing your flight, even though you arrived two hours early.
I don't go to bars and I never drink at an airport so that is not a scenario that can happen.
11. Charging your devices in the boarding area with a super-long cord and “clothes lining” other passengers in the process.
If I was charging something I would sit by the outlet. No long cords for me.
12. Taking up an entire row with your bags in a crowded gate area, and then burying your face in your phone with questionable intensity to ward off any potential space invaders.
Well we did take 4 chairs just this Tuesday but it was for 4 adults and 2 kids and someone always had to be by the bags. Can't bury my face in the phone though as I had to watch the kids.
BOARDING
13. Being a part of a “waiting halo” that gathers around the gate so earlier groups can’t line up—even though you know your group is the last one.
I find this silly. You can't board until your group is called anyway and standing is just pointless. I stay seated until the group is called. Plus this time I had to carry a heavy 2 year old so I was going to sit as much as possible.
14. Trying to sneak into an earlier boarding group.
There is really no point. All have to get on the plane and it will leave at the same time for everyone.
15. Rearranging other people’s luggage in the overhead to make room for your own.
I always travel with my big backpack as a carry on and stow it under my seat. It is very rare for me to actually used the overhead bin. I think I had to use it once or twice and usually I just found an empty space.
16. Putting your luggage into the overhead bin sideways like an amateur.
Ha! I flew on a newly rearranged American Airlines plane on June 29 (the same one that had no screens in the seat in front of you) and they specifically made an announcement that in this new plane arrangement you have to put your carry on sideways!
17. Attempting to get from the back of the plane to the front while people are still boarding because there’s no more overhead bin space in your area.
I never encountered that myself.
18. Watching every passenger board the plane and hoping that beautiful man/woman will set next to you so you can begin your epic romantic journey. WILL IT HAPPEN?
Not at all, since I didn't fly that much before I met Bear and before that I was too young. I do hope for someone pleasant though. And a good conversationalist perhaps. Or at least not an annoying person. I've been lucky with strangers sitting next to me so far.
19. Counting the minutes until the gates close while keeping an eye on that open row. Gotta call dibs before someone else does!
Seats are usually assigned and it is rare now to fly in a plane with a lot of seats open. Lately all planes seem full. Our flight back to New York this week had 35 people on stand by.
20. Pretending you’re in a music video or movie as you look out the airplane window with your headphones on.
I have never done that. I have pretended to be on a space shuttle in the future though as that calms any flying anxiety.
21. Using up precious overhead bin space for small items like a handbag, coat or fanny pack. Those can fit under your seat, pal!
I did put a coat up there when I flew in winter since I keep my backpack under the seat.
22. Booking Basic Economy with your sig-o to try to save a few bucks and then, once you board, pestering others to move so that you can sit together.
Before kids I didn't typically care if we sat together and this wasn't a problem until a few years ago anyway; it is only lately that the corporations decided to gouge through seat selection. We just always sat together. There was a time when I sat separately from my parents but again that was fine. Now I have to pay extra money for the seats since one of us has to sit near each child. I can't exactly inflict them on strangers.
23. Claiming an outlet as soon as you sit down.
There was an USB port in the entertainment screen in front of me so I could just charge my phone. Usually I don't even bother. My stuff is charged beforehand.
24. Groaning aloud when a baby’s seated near you, even if that baby hasn’t shown any sign of committing a crime-- yet.
I never have before I had kids since generally most babies behave and are cute and now I'm on the other side. I felt bad for the woman who sat next to me on the flight on Tuesday since Olivia was right next to me (we were sitting in 4 person row - woman, me, Olivia and my Mom. Across from my Mom in a 3 person row were my Dad, Bear and Tanya). I knew Olivia would not just be sitting still and sometimes would climb on me and I tried hard to make sure Olivia wouldn't be bothering her. The woman was pretty calm the whole flight though so it was just me being worried just in case.
25. Playing passive aggressive games with the middle seat arm rests.
I usually like them down.
26. Sneaking in a few extra minutes of phone time-- even though you’re already supposed to be in airplane mode.
Probably.
27. Sticking your feet in the aisle or worse, claiming the tiniest millimeter of the arm rest in front of you as a foot rest (their elbow can’t reach back that far, can it?!).
I prefer a window seat. Usually I have enough leg room.
28. Taking note of which TV shows/movies/books/magazines other people are watching/reading and promptly judging said choices.
I do take note of it but I don't judge. To each their own. Someone was watching "Aquaman" on this last flight and another was watching "Favourite" with Chinese subtitles.
29. Getting a thrill out of pushing the attendant button to ask for water…pillow…blanket….anything at all.
Not really. I feel I'm bothering them if I do ring the button but I do it in necessity. My Mom needed a bandage so I pressed the button to ask for one.
30. Take the obligatory photo of the airplane wing from the window seat, and then uploading it to Instagram with the caption: On my way to ______. hashtag blessed
I don't have Instagram and if I did I would never use this type of hashtag. I do take pictures out of the airplane occasionally but mostly I want to capture the ground.
31. Decision anxiety when you have to go to the bathroom and the beverage cart is inches away.
I would go to the bathroom and then just ask for the drink. No decision anxiety
32. Sitting in the middle seat anyway, even though either the window or aisle seat is empty. Who are these people?!
Weird people indeed. I prefer with the window or the aisle if I can get it. Preferably window.
33. Talking over the middle seat to your friend in the aisle seat because you just had to have the window seat.
I never had that situation. I would sit together if I could. Otherwise I usually watch a movie or read.
34. Waiting until the aisle person falls asleep to realize that you have to go to the bathroom.
Ha. I would try to hold it in that case.
35. Laughing way too loud with your headphones on at the corny in-flight movie.
I don't know if I do that. I did clap along with Queen song the other day. Hopefully not too loudly.
36. Reclining your seat suddenly, and hence bashing the knees of the person behind you.
I generally only recline my seat if the person in front of me reclines too much. Otherwise I don't recline. And never suddenly.
37. Enjoying a tall glass of white wine as you try to pretend your kid (who’s kicking the seat in front of him) isn’t with you.
I never have alcohol on the plane and part of being a parent is cutting that stuff off immediately. Olivia did try to kick the seat in front a bit and it is my job not to let her. The person in front didn't really notice or complain so success.
38. Slipping your shoes off inflight to give your sore feet a break-- those dogs are barking!
Only on the long flights. I kept the sock the Virgin Atlantic flight gave us and used those for a while.
39. Bringing smelly food. You want your tuna sandwich, and, too bad-- everybody’s just gotta deal with it!
Not really.
40. Having wild B.O. (aka not showering) before you get on a flight. (Hey, your alarm didn’t ring-- it was down to the wire!)
Never done that either.
41. Turning around and giving a look like, You best NOT be doing that again. Just because someone kicked your seat ONE TIME by accident. (Gotta nip it in the bud!)
It will take more than one kick.
42. Reclining your seat to its fullest but getting annoyed when the person in front of you does it.
I don't typically recline.
43. Feeling sheer panic when you’re not done eating your meal but the attendants are ALREADY collecting garbage. Do you keep eating and wait another million years before they come by again? Or do you scarf everything down like a mongrel?
I would just keep eating. They will come around again. I usually eat pretty fast though and it has never been a problem.
44. Seeing someone getting up to go to the bathroom, then deciding you have to go too, so you scramble out of your seat to get in front of them.
I would just wait by the bathroom.
45. Not flushing the toilet… Why would you touch ANYTHING in there?
Flushing is fun though in the airplane.
46. Getting annoyed that the bathroom faucet doesn’t stay on and that you have to continually press it with soapy hands.
Sometimes
47. Snoring on the person next to you.
I can't really sleep on the plane either when I'm flying overnight.
48. Making everyone get up repeatedly so you can step into the aisle and get something from your bag in the overhead compartment.
I don't keep my bag in the overhead compartment. I like my backpack in front of me.
LANDING
49. Clapping like a dork when the plane lands.
Absolutely.
50. Standing up and grabbing your overhead bags while the plane is still taxiing.
I wouldn't do that even if I had something up there. You are not going to make it out if the plane faster. Everyone in front would have to exit first.
51. Trying to dash to the front or trying to exit before the rows in front of you as soon as the plane lands, instead of filing out one row at a time.
One would still have to wait the same amount at the baggage claim so there is really no point. I wait for one row at a time polite exit.
ARRIVAL
52. Literally racing other people from your flight to get to customs and immigration before everyone else.
Not really.
,b>53. Jamming yourself into the airport tram just as the doors are closing, delaying everyone’s arrival to baggage claim.
I never had to go on the airport tram I don't think. I usually have to walk a long way to the baggage claim.
54. Jockeying for prime position in front of the luggage carousel, as if your life depended on it.
I find a less crowded spot usually.
55. Allowing your kid to utilize the baggage claim conveyor belts as a jungle gym because it’s better than listening to them whine some more.
I don't want them to die so no. I let Tanya sit on the edge on one but even then I was worried and told her to stand up even though the belt was empty and wasn't moving and she was sitting on the not movable part. And I definitely had to prevent Olivia climbing on it.
56. Reading all the chauffeurs’ arrival signs and making promising eye contact, even though nobody’s picking you up.
No.
57. Running (or pushing) past everyone when leaving baggage claim to get to the front of the taxi line.
Never. Why all this rushing?
58. Pretending that everyone else is the annoying traveler, not you, because you’re cool and nice and a seasoned traveler so why would anyone have any reason to believe otherwise?
I am a nice traveler but I do probably annoy some people.