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Friday Five on Monday: Wedding questions
Jul. 17th, 2017 08:59 am1) Do you want to get married?
"Did you want to get married?"
When I was growing up, marriage was a natural assumption. In former Soviet Union people married young (My parents married at just under 22), and if a woman was unmarried by 25, she was thought of as old maid. So I just assumed marriage was the path. I never thought about weddings though. They were nice but nowhere a 'perfect day'.
My cousin Katya, who is 8.5 years older than me was an unusual case that did showed an alternative. After she broke up with her boyfriend in medical school, she pretty much declared her intention not to get married. She had her son by herself at 29 and never married. But despite that example, I still assumed I would marry.
I met Bear in college when we were 18 (we met the second day and we're dating pretty much a week later). When we met I didn't think of marriage, of course. But we just kept dating and proved very compatible. Three years later, when I was 21 and just graduated college, I was visiting Belarus, and there I really thought for the first time and long term and marriage. And then I decided that, yes, I do see my future with Bear. It would be another year before my friend 's Mom prompted a conversation between us and Bear and I agreed we were on the marriage path. But it would be ten more years before we would actually marry.
I went to grad school, we were busy and Bear was nervous about actual marriage part. He was committed to me but he was afraid marriage would change things or me and he didn't feel he was financially ready either. And I didn't just want to get married for the sake of it, I wanted to marry Bear. So I waited for him to get ready. I myself wasn't ready until I was 25 or so.
Finally, when we were 31, close to New Year, Bear knew that if he didn't propose, I would be finally done waiting. I didn't say it, or give him an ultimatum but he could sense it, so when we were on vacation in Montauk he proposed. We got married eight months later in August 2012.
2) Where would you like to get married?
"Where did you get married?"
We got married at a Russian restaurant Tatiana on Brighton Beach. We both wanted a small wedding, 40 guests max, and the restaurant had a beautiful private room, all fancy. Bear was sold on the idea of russiab restaurant years back whrn we went to a friend's wedding in one. Thete is just so much food! We had a rabbi and a priest do a ceremony at the restaurant.
Here's my blog recap of the wedding:
Wedding post with some pics
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party?
"Who was in your wedding party?"
One thing I didn't care about is having a wedding party. We had a great wedding but there is so much I couldn't care less about. I didn't do a professional photographer because my Mom had an awesome camera, I did minimum of flowers since the room was already decorated. I didn't want a limo etc. And I didn't want my friends in matching dresses. They could wear whatever. Yeva was my maid of honor and Jeremy was Bear's best man. They signed the kettubah and were witnesses for the license. The rest of my friends could just come enjoy the party wearing whatever they wanted.
4) What would your wedding colours be?
What were your wedding colors?
I didn't care for that either. But when we ordered our cake, it was white and red, so I got a white and red bouquet and white and red flowers for main table. So I guess those were the colors.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?'
It does. Provided, of course, no one becomes abusive or becomes a drug addict or some other situation like that. I think both parties need to work to maintain a marriage and be respectful. But I do approach it as a lifetime commitment.
"Did you want to get married?"
When I was growing up, marriage was a natural assumption. In former Soviet Union people married young (My parents married at just under 22), and if a woman was unmarried by 25, she was thought of as old maid. So I just assumed marriage was the path. I never thought about weddings though. They were nice but nowhere a 'perfect day'.
My cousin Katya, who is 8.5 years older than me was an unusual case that did showed an alternative. After she broke up with her boyfriend in medical school, she pretty much declared her intention not to get married. She had her son by herself at 29 and never married. But despite that example, I still assumed I would marry.
I met Bear in college when we were 18 (we met the second day and we're dating pretty much a week later). When we met I didn't think of marriage, of course. But we just kept dating and proved very compatible. Three years later, when I was 21 and just graduated college, I was visiting Belarus, and there I really thought for the first time and long term and marriage. And then I decided that, yes, I do see my future with Bear. It would be another year before my friend 's Mom prompted a conversation between us and Bear and I agreed we were on the marriage path. But it would be ten more years before we would actually marry.
I went to grad school, we were busy and Bear was nervous about actual marriage part. He was committed to me but he was afraid marriage would change things or me and he didn't feel he was financially ready either. And I didn't just want to get married for the sake of it, I wanted to marry Bear. So I waited for him to get ready. I myself wasn't ready until I was 25 or so.
Finally, when we were 31, close to New Year, Bear knew that if he didn't propose, I would be finally done waiting. I didn't say it, or give him an ultimatum but he could sense it, so when we were on vacation in Montauk he proposed. We got married eight months later in August 2012.
2) Where would you like to get married?
"Where did you get married?"
We got married at a Russian restaurant Tatiana on Brighton Beach. We both wanted a small wedding, 40 guests max, and the restaurant had a beautiful private room, all fancy. Bear was sold on the idea of russiab restaurant years back whrn we went to a friend's wedding in one. Thete is just so much food! We had a rabbi and a priest do a ceremony at the restaurant.
Here's my blog recap of the wedding:
Wedding post with some pics
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party?
"Who was in your wedding party?"
One thing I didn't care about is having a wedding party. We had a great wedding but there is so much I couldn't care less about. I didn't do a professional photographer because my Mom had an awesome camera, I did minimum of flowers since the room was already decorated. I didn't want a limo etc. And I didn't want my friends in matching dresses. They could wear whatever. Yeva was my maid of honor and Jeremy was Bear's best man. They signed the kettubah and were witnesses for the license. The rest of my friends could just come enjoy the party wearing whatever they wanted.
4) What would your wedding colours be?
What were your wedding colors?
I didn't care for that either. But when we ordered our cake, it was white and red, so I got a white and red bouquet and white and red flowers for main table. So I guess those were the colors.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?'
It does. Provided, of course, no one becomes abusive or becomes a drug addict or some other situation like that. I think both parties need to work to maintain a marriage and be respectful. But I do approach it as a lifetime commitment.