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Monday, March 8, 2012
Mar. 8th, 2012 11:00 pmBear’s Mother and religion and her views on the wedding made me so upset. She is very, very super Catholic, and she does not believe that a wedding is real unless God is present there and there is some sort of religious ceremony. She did express that opinion before (and we told her that we will try to contact a priest, who is a friend of the family, to do a blessing or something), and she was talking to me about it on Saturday, trying to convince us to have any religious ceremony, even Jewish one.
Bear and I wanted to keep our wedding as simple as possible, both in cost and in hassle and we were just going to go to city hall. But Bear overheard her last night, talking to someone on the phone, and she was just so dismissive of our whole wedding because there will be no religion in it. She was saying that when I was showing her the pictures of invitations and dress and generally talking about it, she just wanted to throw up since it was just all fake wedding stuff. Basically, being polite to my face while seething about it inside. It is that dismissal of our plans and complete disrespect for any other idea of what a wedding should be that made me upset the most. And the fact that she was basically making me stressed and nervous and taking all my excitement at my own wedding away from me.
I was crying before I went to sleep and crying some more this morning when I was writing an email to Marianna asking for a name of the guy who married her. She married a Muslim and the cantor who did a Jewish ceremony for her, does specialize in interfaith marriages. I don’t know any religious officials since I go to synagogue once a year and religion to me is a social thing and not so much about God. Plus, now I have to contact people and sort this out and I get anxiety calling strangers on the phone. (Like I seriously usually make others order take-out). Bear and I, at least, both agreed that we are not paying for this – this could be several hundred dollars and his mother can cover it since she is so keen. She did offer briefly on Saturday so she should shell out. Bear will also contact the priest so we’ll see what happened. I hate the hustle but I recognize the need for compromise.
I rarely get really upset, because usually it sits in my chest the whole day and that is was happened. I did less grading because of it. I couldn’t concentrate as well. So at lunch, instead of grading some more – I have folder review tomorrow – I caught up on “House” on Hulu.
Such a nice warm day today, I wish I had time to enjoy it.
On a brighter note, Happy International Women's Day! When I was little and I lived in the country where this was a national holiday, we had a day off school and I got presents. So I'm still fond of it.
Bear and I wanted to keep our wedding as simple as possible, both in cost and in hassle and we were just going to go to city hall. But Bear overheard her last night, talking to someone on the phone, and she was just so dismissive of our whole wedding because there will be no religion in it. She was saying that when I was showing her the pictures of invitations and dress and generally talking about it, she just wanted to throw up since it was just all fake wedding stuff. Basically, being polite to my face while seething about it inside. It is that dismissal of our plans and complete disrespect for any other idea of what a wedding should be that made me upset the most. And the fact that she was basically making me stressed and nervous and taking all my excitement at my own wedding away from me.
I was crying before I went to sleep and crying some more this morning when I was writing an email to Marianna asking for a name of the guy who married her. She married a Muslim and the cantor who did a Jewish ceremony for her, does specialize in interfaith marriages. I don’t know any religious officials since I go to synagogue once a year and religion to me is a social thing and not so much about God. Plus, now I have to contact people and sort this out and I get anxiety calling strangers on the phone. (Like I seriously usually make others order take-out). Bear and I, at least, both agreed that we are not paying for this – this could be several hundred dollars and his mother can cover it since she is so keen. She did offer briefly on Saturday so she should shell out. Bear will also contact the priest so we’ll see what happened. I hate the hustle but I recognize the need for compromise.
I rarely get really upset, because usually it sits in my chest the whole day and that is was happened. I did less grading because of it. I couldn’t concentrate as well. So at lunch, instead of grading some more – I have folder review tomorrow – I caught up on “House” on Hulu.
Such a nice warm day today, I wish I had time to enjoy it.
On a brighter note, Happy International Women's Day! When I was little and I lived in the country where this was a national holiday, we had a day off school and I got presents. So I'm still fond of it.