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I think I jinxed myself yesterday morning by thinking that taking care of a baby was much less stressful than I remembered and that the biggest issue was Tanya acting out more. Tanya is almost three and I'm sure she's also jealous of the time I spend on the baby, so she's having more tantrums and more not listening, and being generally stubborn. You tell her not to do something, she's does it deliberately and on purpose. Yesterday morning she was driving both me and my Mom nuts. Olivia, on the other hand, has been sleeping a lot and been generally a good baby. I do have to wake up three times a night to feed her, but she eats quickly and that's pretty normal baby stuff. (And I was terrified being alone with Tanya even when she was like a month, and I'm fine being with a tiny baby now, because I do know what to expect).

But I jinxed it because yesterday, Olivia got gas pains a lot, was crying much more and generally just wanted to be held and to nap on me and not in the crib or the little co-sleeper I use for the first month. So I was basically holding her all day and was trying to soothe her in the evening while she looked like she was in pain, which made me want to cry too. She cried for maybe 5 minutes straight, but that was long enough for me to be upset about it. She did sleep ok at night, in her co-sleeper, and I was rubbing her tummy more, and this morning, after I changed her diaper and fed her, she even sat quietly in her baby chair in the kitchen for ten minutes while I ate breakfast, but boy, I can't wait for this stage to pass and for her tummy to settle down. She's over 9 pounds already, so hopefully it will be just a few months.

Bear went back to work this past week and my Mom has been coming over every day. Usually I would take Olivia outside to nap in the stroller in the courtyard at least once a day, sometimes twice. I would read my book or chat with neighbors. If my Mom and Tanya stopped by on the way to or from the big playground, Tanya would want to sit on me and play with me more than usual - she is definitely reacting to my focus on the baby. Before she would just tell me to go away more. I do try to play with her when I can. I know it is a big change for her.

Bear's birthday was on Thursday. It was very low key this year. Tanya and I drew him a card and I gave him his presents on Thursday morning. I got him another little drone, a book on Black Holes and DVD of Logan. He saw it in the movie theater but he wanted to own it and I wanted to watch it, so win-win. Tomorrow, Bear is taking Tanya to Long Island for the day to celebrate Father's Day and his birthday (he was born on Father's Day so his family always combined the celebrations) and he will get a proper cake. I will just be home with Olivia all day, since she's too young to travel anywhere and I just want to be home anyway.

I've been watching "Orange is the New Black" Season 5 - an episode a day, pretty much. And Great British Baking Show this morning on PBS app. I'm still reading LeGuin book - I'm up to book reviews section. Mostly I'm just sleepy.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Friday, June 9th, 2017 04:58 pm
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I keep reminding myself that I need to be patient with myself. That postpartum recovery will happen with time and it's only been a week. But I just want to get over this phase of stitches and lochia and engorgement. It was my least favorite part last time and I can't wait to get to normal again. But again, it is easier this time - I can walk normally, unlike last time, and I'm not as stressed about baby care. I can change diapers and she's eating and doing normal baby things. I even sleep a tiny bit more than I did with Tanya. First week with Tanya I could barely sleep. I still get frustrated and feel totally useless when I can't get the baby to sleep easily, but Olivia actually sleeps a lot, much more than Tanya did. And she is eating well. I, thankfully, have enough milk - too much even. (She eats differently than Tanya did. Tanya would eat efficiently in one feeding and not ask for more until a few hours later. Olivia eats in 2-3 stages. She eats, gets tired, burps and asks for seconds. I wonder if this will be reflected in how they eat.) So I need to remind myself to be patient and be in the moment.

What complicated this week is that Tanya got a cold, which became apparent on Wednesday morning. It's tapering off, so hopefully we can get to relatively normal tomorrow. But she is not allowed in my room where the baby is or where she can snuggle with me like she likes in the mornings. Which is very frustrating and upsetting for everyone because Tanya just wants to see the baby and pet the baby and hug my hair. And I want to encourage her bonding with her sister. The good thing is Bear is home this week, so at least she gets a lot of Papa attention and it is less miserable that it could be for her. And I was frustrated a bit because I can't exactly comfort her or snuggle with her because I had to be careful not to catch it since I need to care for the baby. At least I actually gave her breakfast and lunch today. Hopefully, snuggles tomorrow.

On Wednesday, Bear and I also took Olivia to the pediatrician for the first visit - and first vaccine. There is still a little jaundice that we have to watch out for but she's eating and peeing well, so it should clear by next week. The three of us also managed a nice time outside in the courtyard, taking Olivia out for a nap in the stroller so she could get some sun on her face. That was very nice.

And this morning, while Olivia napped on me, I watched the first episode of the new season of Orange is the New Black. It was ok - I liked it enough, especially conversation between Judy and Sosa, but it's not grabbing me yet. Too much going on. I wonder if the whole season will be just about the riot. We'll see. I'll keep watching when I have a chance. Mainly I just try to nap.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016 10:19 pm
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How is it Wednesday already? This last week since we got back from our vacation passed very quickly. Very busy long weekend, so that is why it is feeling quick, I suppose.

On Saturday, Bear and I went to see "She Loves Me" on Broadway. This musical is based on a 1930s Hungarian play. The plot is familiar because it was made into many movies like "You Got Mail." It was a very cute and fluffy musical. Romantic with nice songs. It's not the best ever, but the acting and singing was pretty lovely. My main characters were played by Laura Benanti and Zachari Levy. It's funny, Laura Benanti might be very big in the theater world with a Tony and lots of nominations, but I know her from "Supergirl" - she played Kara's Aunt and Mom. Jane Krakowski was supposed to play the comedy supporting part but she wasn't there. Her understudy was good but it was a little bit disappointing. Still, we did have a good time. The scenery was really gorgeous.

After the show, we wondered around a bit in Hell's Kitchen and had some Thai Food. I had Massamman curry. Very tasty.

On Sunday and Monday we were in Long Island, visiting Bear's parents for Father's Day weekend. Father's Day weekend is a big deal for their family not just with gifts for Bear's Dad but because Bear was born on Father's Day, so they always hold his birthday party on that day. And I get presents too by default since it's the first time I visit since my birthday. I got an Amazon gift card, a pre-order of "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child", Neil Gaiman's "Blueberry Girl" (which Tanya loved and wanted to read the following day too, even pretending to read it herself), and a robe in Japanese style. Bear's brother and his girlfriend came over and we had a nice family dinner. Tanya got to play in her backyard turtle sandbox. And on Monday in a little kiddie pool.

Other than that, last week was spent adulting. I had to gather all the documents to apply for the mortgage, and I'm try to job hunt a little each evening. On top of writing a bit. And reading. And I also spent the week watching TV since two of my shows have new episodes on Netflix.

Agents of Shield, Season 3 - I like watching the whole season at once, so I waited on this show. It is definitely fun to go at my own pace. I just finished episode 9 today. Very good season. I'm a bit iffy on the portal and retcon that Hydra is really an old cult type formed around this portal - seems stupid - but we'll see how it will play out.

Orange is the New Black, Season 4 - I know something is coming but I've been avoiding spoilers. At the same time I can't binge watch so it would take me a while. I just seen three episodes. Trying to stay unspoiled for another week. I will do comments once I finish.

All this TV means little time to read. I really need to make time to read.


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October 2017

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