Bearshorty's musings

I don't really remember my dreams. They disappear soon after I wake up. But this morning's dream was so unusual that the end still sticks in my mind. I was two different people. Twins maybe. I was one person first, then the second. Just before I woke up, the second person who was me was having some kind emotional crisis (not wanting to call an old boyfriend? something weird) and apparently I had telekinesis and my emotions were moving things. I was trying to not let the bookcase fall when Tanya woke me up. So weird and pretty cool at the same time. Telekinesis would be freaky power to have.

Today was a much more pleasant weather. It was still hot in the afternoon - 86F - but not humid and there was a pleasant wind. So we went to the playground for a few hours in the morning and in the afternoon as well. The sprinkler wasn't on today but the wind really was nice. We were going to leave around 6pm to go home but then Bear came to the playground after he got home from work, so he stayed with her to play some more while I went home to do my 20 minutes on the exercise bike. I was torn between going home to work out or staying and hanging out with Bear and Tanya since I won't see Bear the rest of the week. He told me to go home, have a break. And I realized that I don't really need one. I had a break during naptime and spending time with Tanya is much easier and much less tedious now that she's older and can talk. That's a fun realization. And she's been doing so much better with naps and bedtime lately - soothes herself more and more- that I don't stress or have to reprimand her for misbehaving, so I'm in a much better mood when Bear gets home. Bedtime has always been on a curve - some months it's smooth sailing, others it's a struggle. I think the pendulum is swinging in a good direction right now. I'm enjoying it. Plus, it's the little things. Today, I used my index and middle finger to do a little puppet running across her table and she found it hysterical. Wanted me to do that over and over. My little hand ran and stumbled and she giggled.

As I was working out, I finished watching "The Big Short" movie, which is on Netflix now. I started it last night. It was a really good movie but it does make me angry. It's about 2008 financial crisis and why it came about, and some investors and hedge fund managers who saw it coming and bet that it would happen. Mostly it is about how the bankers screwed everyone due to greed and stupidity and irresponsibility and there is no accountability at all. And the movie tries to explain all the financial terms in layman terms. All the financial stuff always made my head hurt, but I really need to educate myself more about it and this movie is certainly informative in addition to a good drama. But it does piss me off about the world. Lately it's been one thing after another. This year is just so strange and unnerving.